"Every time you gently hold a baby who has been fussing, you are teaching her that the world is a safe place to be.
Every time you feed her when she has been crying, you are teaching her that she can get her needs met by letting others know what she wants.
When you respond to her needs quickly and sensitively, she gradually learns how to comfort herself.
When you talk with her as you change her diaper or put her in the car seat, you build on the language capacity her brain is programmed to develop."
- from the childhood affirmation program
Talking about responding to baby's need quickly & sensitively, I think of the Dunstan Baby lanuguge (also on Opera), I watched it with my mum & her friend and it's really useful. It's for 0-3 months infants based on the sound they made on their reflexes, total of 5 sounds for different needs. The author Prisilla pretty much can pick up what the baby need (even not her own baby) instantly and settle the baby instantly. That's amazing. I found watching the baby's body language gives me a clue too. Video sampler on youtube.
My mum's friend just had a grand-daughter and said that her grand-daughter has 7 different sounds, she could even distinguish between when the baby wants milk or wants water! Good ear! Also pick up some tips from her as well:
- only put the baby to sleep when it needs to ('owh' - tiredness), never hold her and swing her to sleep, otherwise he/she won't sleep unless you hold her.
- wrap baby or put him/her in the cot when he/she feels tired, so that he/she associate the cot to sleep
Every little pieces started to come together and started to make sense now, I was so confused at some of the concept in antenatal class and other classes I've attended. The class about raising independent baby said the same thing, the Gerber approach (Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities— From the Very Start) says that to watch the baby's signal and attend to their needs instead of according to ours, for example feed them when they're hungry ('neh', hey I'm getting good at this) rather than according to our schedule (need to feed the baby every 2 hours or need to go out so better feed the baby first)
The baby will be more likely to raise to be independent individuals by the Gerber approach or the 'respect the baby's needs' approach.
Also recommended in the antenatal class, The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer, have some settling techniques, the 5s:
- Swaddling
- Side or Stomach
- Shhhh
- Swinging
- Sucking
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