Support for 1st time parent

We're pretty lucky in NZ I think, once my baby arrived, there's a midwife or nurse to follow up every few days after birth and every 3 weeks up to 3 months. The Well Child book that records the baby's growth and immunisations. There's also a lot of information, courses from plunket and local groups which are offered for free.

There are also coffee groups, new mums groups, pram walking groups offered by Plunket or other organisations. Playgroup offer free sessions at childcare centres around the country for parents, they have session usually grouped with similar aged children so the parents can exchange tips while the children play with all the facilities the centres has. It's a good way to try the centre before using them. I am on a waiting list for a child care centre for next March, I went there on my last month of pregnancy and was quite surprise for a 10 month waiting list! It seems we really have a shortage of early childhood teacher and centres.

There are certainly a lot of choices of early childhood centres, but which one is good? I found a really good site by the Ministry of Education, they have an Education Review Office that generate reports on all registered centres in NZ on a yearly basis, it's a good way to do some research at home before visiting. I have visited a few centres, some has 5 different areas for children from age 0-5, while some only seperate them into 3 groups, some centres has good security that only parents can access, and some you can walk right through without any reception. I'll probably join the sessions offered by Playcentre when I get the time and confidence to take my baby in the car by myself, she cried at times when the car stopped at the traffic light, can't imagine if there wasn't someone sitting next to her.

I'm starting to connect more to my baby now, I found that sometimes I start to miss her when I don't see her for an hour or so when I'm in the study. I enjoy lying in bed side by side with her, looking at the ceiling and talking to her (she coos and ah after I speak, sounds like she's agreeing); watching her smile after feed; wiggle her arms & legs when she plays in the play gym.

After reading some articles in the La Leche League website, it seems normal now that she wants to feed every hour, or only for 5 minutes, or wants feed an hour after she just had a big meal. As it's the same with me as well, I might need a drink of water an hour after my mains, sometimes some snacks, afternoon tea..etc, why ask my baby why she need to feed so much!

There are two main 'theories' to childcare, the baby-on-demand where the parents act according to what the baby needs, or parent-on-demand where the parents have set routines for the baby. Which one is better? I guess it depends on the parents and the baby's character. There were days that I simply don't have time to take a shower, have a proper meal just because the baby needed to be fed or put to sleep or cry...etc. But is it really the way, I thought? So I re-set my priorities, the baby certainly is important, but things like personal hygiene, some free time to handle household matters are also important.

Infant learning & development

Best day of the week: baby slept after each feed, or happily play with whatever I arranged, be it a play gym, an out of tone song that I sang or little games. Burp her after hearing she said 'eh', and gave a loud long burp.

Worst day of the week: sitting on my bed feeding, burping then feeding again, and she cried once I put her down. Keep crying & I couldn't find out any reasons, and stopped crying once her father or anyone hold her, cried again when passed back to me.
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Besides feeding, sleeping and changing nappies, baby seems to have more awake time and will cry when she's bored and need someone to cuddle or play/talk with.

A friend gifted Your Baby and Toddler from Birth to 3 Years: A Step-by-Step Guide to Your Child's Development, has a step-by step guide to child's development from birth, shows some activities that I can play with my baby. Now she's 5 weeks, activities from the book that help develop her skills:

- Talk to him from different places in the room and watch how he tries to locate the sound

- Repeat the same song a few times, babies' memory is developing, although only short-term at the moment

- Tickle the palm of her hand and fingertips with anything soft or furry in texture

- Emotional & Social development, babies at this stage love any kind of interactions. Talking & responding (cooing) to her, smile with her.

- from Your Self-Confident Baby: How to Encourage Your Child's Natural Abilities— From the Very Start, talking to her and tell her what you're doing helps build her language skills and shows her respect. For example, tell her when you're changing her, "Now, I'm going to lift your legs up and take the nappy away...etc"

- Active movement from SPARC has free videos to show activities from infant up to pre-schoolers


Learning from birth - a good resource from Team Up


More games ideas:

Games to Play with Babies


Creative Play for Your Baby: Steiner Waldorf Expertise and Toy Projects for 3 Months-2 Years

Nursary Rhymes Lyrics


Baby gym resources:

MyGym
Jumping Beans, NZ
KindyRock

Nursing Marathon

After talking with a friend about my shortage of milk supply and had to top up with formula, she said she also had the same problem, but she insisted not to top up with formula as it'll further diminishes the milk supply, and after a few days of nursing practically every hour, her supply was good for her baby. So I tried the same approach, had my bedside table with books and music, and nipple cream ready, I choose Lansinoh nipple cream as it's safe for baby and no need to remove before nursing. The last 2 days was fine, nursing every hour, sometimes baby sucked for 5 minutes and dose off, I reduce the bottle from every feed before to only 2 at night.

Some more tips from everyone that care & What to Expect the First Year, by the way, it's really a good book, clears up all my queries:

- Try to burb baby between breast, as sometimes they're not really full with air bubbles inside, and will need to nurse again very soon
- Feed according to your baby's need, instead of the clock or feeding schedule
- Eat healthy food (Eating for Two: Recipes for Pregnant and Breastfeeding Women)& drink plenty of fluid
- Position baby well so he/she's not only sucking on the nipples which causes sore nipples
- For sore nipples, after each feed, squeeze a little breastmilk and pat around the nipple and apply nipple cream
- Sometimes crying doesn't mean a baby's hungry, maybe they just need a cuddle, try to calm her or put her back to sleep before offering a feed
- Wake baby to finish feeding, at least 15 minutes on one breast or until breast is soft.

There are more info on the la leche league website.

Got a new bottle of Bio-oil, glad to see my tummy is getting smaller, and hopefully the stretch mark will go soon.


Our little angel also got a blocked nose, my mum noticed it first and asked why she's breathing through her mouth. So we got a nasal aspirator for her.

I went out for a walk today and all those parents with toddlers caught my eyes, holding them and chasing around them when they pick up, throw & touch everything. I thought, being a new mum is a 24/7 hour job, and I admire mums that need to take care of more than 1 kid. To my mum, and all the mums, I salute you, you've all done a great job.

Welcome to Motherhood

Crying baby, sleepless nights, sore nipples, sore back, numb fingers all seems to be motherhood at the moment, my baby seems to demand feed more often now, nursing her seems to be never-ending. At the first week, I feel like I can handle it, as she'd slept for 5-6 hours after each feed and she only made 2 sounds, from watching the Dunstan Baby languages, it's either hungry or needs to change, and when she cries, the technique in The Happiest Baby on the Block: The New Way to Calm Crying and Help Your Newborn Baby Sleep Longer works! The white noise works like magic.

But this week, everything is different, she cries & cries, and I don't understand the language anymore, check her nappies, burp her..etc, nothing works! But she calms down almost every time I feed her, maybe that's why I'm always feeding and have sore nipples. And the white noise doesn't work anymore when she's still hungry after nursing her for an hour, and I need to go sterize the bottle to mix up some formula.

Some said that I don't need to feed her every time, sometimes maybe all she needs is a cuddle, someone to talk to her, play with her or just a random cry before sleep. I'll keep working hard to understand my baby more, although sometimes get frustrated especially when my body is so sore, so tired and cannot calm her down, at that time, I just put my baby down or hand it to someone else and have a break. There're of course good days too, like today, after feeding her, she's sleeping so peacefully now, which is a such a blessing to watch.